Lack of Communication

Lack of communication is a killer

In Daniel chapter 2, King Nebuchadnezzar made a decision to kill all the wise men under his authority. Giving into the fear of communication at that point, would have been a silent agreement to go to the slaughter. Daniel instead of fearing, asked the timeless question: why? Our ‘why’ can save lives, but it needs to be from a place of wanting to understand the persons heart, not from a place of challenging.

There will be a point when your child disagrees with you, and you may want to scratch it off as rebellion. However, a parent that is willing to ask ‘why’ and listen to their childs heart, can save their life. A parent willing to navigate the hurt in their child’s heart instead of calling a disagreement rebellion, can save their lives. I’ve watched many friends make the decision that they did not want to go to college; most of them later regretted it. I’m sure they thought, ‘I’m tired of school’ among a plethora of other reasons. Instead of their parents letting that be the end of the subject, they could have said, ‘Do you plan on having a job? Would you rather make $10/hr or $30/hr in exchange for the same amount of your time?’ Honestly, any amount of wisdom/healthy communication we can give our children will help save their lives. 

Next time remember: It’s not rebellion, it’s an opportunity to strengthen your connect and impart wisdom

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Because I Said So

'Because I said so'

‘Because I said so’

No child likes hearing the phrase: ‘Because I said so.’

This phrase can work with a child who knows, and trusts, their parents, but it is not a great response for a child who lacks relational connection to their parents.

‘Because God said so‘ can, occasionally, be an okay answer for a Christian who trusts God, but to an unbeliever it is like eating fire; likewise, to a disconnected child it is going to mean absolute rebellion.

Rules without Relationship = Rebellion

Rules without Relationship = Rebellion

Many children who have been abused, whether emotionally, physically, or sexually, have a hard time trusting authority. Something as simple as not spending quality time with your child (avoidance), can damage a child emotionally. If a child feels like you do not care about them, you are going to have a hard time with discipline. If you are already in this position, try to put quality time above the law for a little while and see if it makes a difference. Children who love their parents will automatically want to please them.

Understanding that, rules without relationship is a recipe for rebellion, we can start to see why unbelievers typically hate Christians. For years Christians have stated the ‘rules’ to God’s wayward children, instead of portraying His love to them. We need to rethink our outreach plans. Relationship is the most important thing to God.

A father gave his son his inheritance, to do what he wanted to with it. The son made some bad choices, and ended up remembering how good his father was. We need to be the people reminding the prodigal son how good and loving the Father is. The son already knew he was in a mess. When the son returned, the father didn’t get onto him for his bad choices, he hugged, accepted, loved, and celebrated his return.



The child without relational connection, or with damaged trust, will ask ‘Why?‘, so they can see if they can trust the reasoning. The unbeliever needs us to show God’s reasoning of why something is wrong or right. This is called teaching and gaining trust. The unbeliever is the prodigal son, and the mistrusting/damaged child. They need to know they can trust God’s rules. They need to be able to see that God’s plan for them is good. Thankfully, God tells us why. Instead of tweeting ‘Divorce is sin‘ or ‘Homosexuality is sin‘, realize that you are quoting rules to a disconnected child that will result in rebellion. Instead say ‘Divorce causes deep emotional trauma‘ or ‘Homosexuality results in disease and illness. God says it’s wrong because He doesn’t want you to be in pain.‘ God is concerned for you and deeply cares about you.

A ‘b/c I said so‘ message tells the child, I don’t care about our connection or teaching you how to make decisions for yourself. Why then are Christians still preaching sermons with a ‘b/c i said so‘ mentality toward the lost? God gives us His reasoning. He shows us why right is right, and why wrong is wrong. He wants to teach us and build relationship, not command/control us, and keep us ignorant. His first goal is to build relationships and trust. Once we trust him ‘b/c I said so‘ becomes an okay answer here and there.

Late Night as a Single Person

I am single (unmarried & not dating), but God is my husband. When I lay down to sleep some nights he’ll whisper, ‘I love you’; and although I know it with my mind, it’s nice to hear him speak it to my heart. It shows me the tenderness of his care.

And just like newlyweds stay up all night enjoying connection, so the Lord connects with my spirit and starts pouring into me; revealing the secrets of his heart, encouraging me, listening to my fears, showing me how to overcome. He is everything to me.

He Is.

Who would ever ask for more? He is beautiful and he sees every part of me with love. He sees my nakedness and does not put me to shame. He calls me His. He says, ‘There is no other like you. You are beautiful, my bride’. I cry and ask him to have all of me. Take every part of my heart and let it be filled with you.


To every unmarried person tonight: let him be your husband
To every married person tonight: let him be your example
To every hurting marriage tonight: let your God husband mend the pains
To all fighting pornography tonight: take comfort in your spouse


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