Lack of Communication

Lack of communication is a killer

In Daniel chapter 2, King Nebuchadnezzar made a decision to kill all the wise men under his authority. Giving into the fear of communication at that point, would have been a silent agreement to go to the slaughter. Daniel instead of fearing, asked the timeless question: why? Our ‘why’ can save lives, but it needs to be from a place of wanting to understand the persons heart, not from a place of challenging.

There will be a point when your child disagrees with you, and you may want to scratch it off as rebellion. However, a parent that is willing to ask ‘why’ and listen to their childs heart, can save their life. A parent willing to navigate the hurt in their child’s heart instead of calling a disagreement rebellion, can save their lives. I’ve watched many friends make the decision that they did not want to go to college; most of them later regretted it. I’m sure they thought, ‘I’m tired of school’ among a plethora of other reasons. Instead of their parents letting that be the end of the subject, they could have said, ‘Do you plan on having a job? Would you rather make $10/hr or $30/hr in exchange for the same amount of your time?’ Honestly, any amount of wisdom/healthy communication we can give our children will help save their lives. 

Next time remember: It’s not rebellion, it’s an opportunity to strengthen your connect and impart wisdom

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Because I Said So

'Because I said so'

‘Because I said so’

No child likes hearing the phrase: ‘Because I said so.’

This phrase can work with a child who knows, and trusts, their parents, but it is not a great response for a child who lacks relational connection to their parents.

‘Because God said so‘ can, occasionally, be an okay answer for a Christian who trusts God, but to an unbeliever it is like eating fire; likewise, to a disconnected child it is going to mean absolute rebellion.

Rules without Relationship = Rebellion

Rules without Relationship = Rebellion

Many children who have been abused, whether emotionally, physically, or sexually, have a hard time trusting authority. Something as simple as not spending quality time with your child (avoidance), can damage a child emotionally. If a child feels like you do not care about them, you are going to have a hard time with discipline. If you are already in this position, try to put quality time above the law for a little while and see if it makes a difference. Children who love their parents will automatically want to please them.

Understanding that, rules without relationship is a recipe for rebellion, we can start to see why unbelievers typically hate Christians. For years Christians have stated the ‘rules’ to God’s wayward children, instead of portraying His love to them. We need to rethink our outreach plans. Relationship is the most important thing to God.

A father gave his son his inheritance, to do what he wanted to with it. The son made some bad choices, and ended up remembering how good his father was. We need to be the people reminding the prodigal son how good and loving the Father is. The son already knew he was in a mess. When the son returned, the father didn’t get onto him for his bad choices, he hugged, accepted, loved, and celebrated his return.



The child without relational connection, or with damaged trust, will ask ‘Why?‘, so they can see if they can trust the reasoning. The unbeliever needs us to show God’s reasoning of why something is wrong or right. This is called teaching and gaining trust. The unbeliever is the prodigal son, and the mistrusting/damaged child. They need to know they can trust God’s rules. They need to be able to see that God’s plan for them is good. Thankfully, God tells us why. Instead of tweeting ‘Divorce is sin‘ or ‘Homosexuality is sin‘, realize that you are quoting rules to a disconnected child that will result in rebellion. Instead say ‘Divorce causes deep emotional trauma‘ or ‘Homosexuality results in disease and illness. God says it’s wrong because He doesn’t want you to be in pain.‘ God is concerned for you and deeply cares about you.

A ‘b/c I said so‘ message tells the child, I don’t care about our connection or teaching you how to make decisions for yourself. Why then are Christians still preaching sermons with a ‘b/c i said so‘ mentality toward the lost? God gives us His reasoning. He shows us why right is right, and why wrong is wrong. He wants to teach us and build relationship, not command/control us, and keep us ignorant. His first goal is to build relationships and trust. Once we trust him ‘b/c I said so‘ becomes an okay answer here and there.

Midday as a Single Person

I am single (unmarried & not dating), but God is my husband. I was just fully settled when a light breeze closed the car door for me; slowly, and gently, but with just enough force to shut it. God is such a gentleman; the breathe, or wind, of His spirit is with us all day, and for this I say:

He is my husband;
 I am His bride.
He is my beloved,
 and I am His prize.
I am His love,
 and He is my heart.
Catch for me the foxes
 that spoil the vineyard;
 I want you to have the full harvest of my heart.
He is my gift: 
 lovely, kind, and gentle;
 He is the definition of the same love that He kindles.
When people ask me why I am single, 
 I shall say:'Have you met my husband?'
My husband is like no other;
 He is above them all.
He is strong! 
 He is mighty!
 He is my protector and song!
He supplies riches and glory to me.
 He brings home new wine
 and great joy to release.
He is patient;
 His anger never lasts more than a second.
He is altogether handsome.
 He's the full package;
 He's splendid!
He is holy set apart unto me.
 His eyes blaze with fire;
 A passion for me. 
He says His name is jealousy;
 He says He just can't get enough. 
He counts the strands of my hair;
 He numbers every tear.
He watches me as I go and as I come. 
 He can't take His eyes off me; 
 no, not even one. 
He says I'm His glorious bride, 
 without spot or blemish. 
 He sees me naked and says 'She is mine'.
His every thought is of me;
 We were destined to be together. 
He never leaves my side; 
 No matter how hard the weather. 
His promise is true, 
 He has never broken a single one. 
He is fully devoted,
 He is God's son. 
Of all His riches, 
 and all the nations who need something – 
 He puts them on hold when I speak His name. 
He loves to hear my voice;
 He says I am his most valuable jewel –
His crown and His glory. 
 His love is a very deep pool. 
No matter how busy my days get, 
 how stressed I am, he won't crack a whip.
He always takes the time to listen about my day; 
 He never puts His work or Himself above the things that I say.
He is always there to comfort and encourage;
 He gives me fresh hope, for He is my courage.
Good luck finding anyone better; 
 He is above all the rest. 
His name is Jesus; 
 Trust me – HE is the best.
He knows my every thought,
 before I have spoken a word.
He finishes my sentences
 before they are heard.
He knows me altogether;
 inside and out. 
Together we laugh at the days to come. 
 He is my anchor; We are wholly united – 
 There may be a storm, but we have no bout. 
'Home is where the heart is' 
 and my heart is in Him.
His spirit lives in me;
 In our connection there is only glee. 
 Our union is glorious beyond glorious you see. 
He pours his love out on me, 
 each and every, day and night. 
My body is His vessel; 
 I'm set apart in His sight. 
He is the prince turned king; 
 I worship Him alone.
 He calls me princess, and makes me the queen.
He calls me up as a ruler, like He; 
 He says, 'I'll give her the nations, so she 
 can judge and have power like me.'
He is my happily ever after. 
 And He's kind to every child;
 He trains, instructs, and rears. 
He guides the obedient child;
 giving them wisdom beyond their years. 
He allows the rebellious to experience 
 the consequences of their own decisions. 
Yet He goes after them with love;
 not a day should they spend in doubt.  
When they return to their senses, 
 He'll brings them out –
He'll take their punishment on himself. 
 He takes them in, restore them, never putting them on the shelf.
He takes on their consequences, 
 and forgives their sin;
 He delights when they listen and return to Him. 
He gives wonderful inheritance to every child:
 Both boy and girl are showered with gifts wild. 
They both enjoy the riches of his kingdom; 
 they have access to all the storehouses of wealth.
There is nothing that they ask
 that he wouldn't give to help;
 In Him they find all they desire. 
His name is I AM, 
 which means He's everything I need –
And today that is a husband; 
 someone to love and cherish me. 
He answers my requests so well 
 I doubt I'll ever look for another; 
God loves me so well, 
 I have no need for any other. 
In His arms is all I need;
 those same arms hold on tight to me.
Night and day, He is there for all who listen; 
 When they ask, they will see Him quicken. 
At a moments notice, everything is within grasp; 
 All you can dream, and more than you could ask. 
He never leaves; 
 no, He won't ignore. 
He doesn't fail to put the cherry on the cake;
 Hot fudge, nuts, & toppings galore. 
The most beautiful dessert 
 you could ever hope to explore! 
He is my love; 
 I'll call him names:
Like Rapha, Shammah, 
 & Nissi who reigns;
But also my prince, 
 my hero, 
 my husband, and such;
He is my God 
 and He is too much!

Worship: Let Me Love You More, by Misty Edwards

Bride of ChristThis poem is based on biblical principles. Here are the verses behind the words: Is.54:4-God is your husband; Sos.2:16-He is mine & I am His; Is.62:3-You are His crown jewel; Sos.2:15-I am His vineyard; Acts1:4-gift of the Spirit; John 4:24-God is Spirit; 1Cor.6:19-I am the temple of the Spirit; Sos.5:9-10-He is above all others & is handsome; Ps.18:2-God is strong and my protector; Job32:19-He fills me with new wine; Ps.30:5-anger lasts but a moment; Rev.19:12-His eyes blaze like fire; Ex.34:14-His name is jealous; Matt.10:30-counts my hair; Ps.56:8-catches my tears in a bottle; Ps.32:8-His eyes watch me; Eph.5:27-I am His bride without spot or blemish; 1Cor.14:25-I am naked before Him; Ps. 139:17-18-His every thought is of me; Eph.1:5-I was destined to be with Him; Deut.31:6-He will never leave me; 2Cor.1:20-He fulfills every promise; Matt.7:7-He listens to and gives me what I need; 1Cor.14:3-He comforts, encourages, and strengthens me; Ps.139:1-4-He finishes my sentences and watches me go and come; Heb.6:19-He is my anchor in the storm; Rom.5:5-He pours His love on us; 2Cor.4:7-I am a vessel for Him; Eph.1:22-Jesus is prince and king; Rev.2:26-He sets me over nations to rule with Him; Rev.20:6-We will rule with Him; James1:5-He gives wisdom; Luke15-He loves when the rebellious return home (prodigal son); Is.53:5-He took on the consequences of our bad decisions; 1John1:9-He forgives us who ask him to; Rom.8:17-we inherit the riches of God’s kingdom; Deut.28:12-we have access to the storehouse of heaven; 1John3:22-we receive everything we ask for; Sos.2:6-His arm is around me; Eph.3:20-He gives me more than I could ask or imagine; Ps.9:12-He won’t ignore us; Sos.5:16-He is altogether lovely.

– Rev. 19:6-8 – “Thanks to our God. For the Lord our God is King. He is the All-powerful One. Let us be full of joy and be glad. Let us honor Him, for the time has come for the wedding supper of the Lamb. His bride has made herself ready. She was given clean, white, fine linen clothes to wear. The fine linen is the right living of God’s people.”

– Is. 54:5 – For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name

– 1 Cor. 7:28-35,38 –  But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord… So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

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‘Christian’ vs. ‘Disciple’ – A Study of Terms & Connotation


Acts 11:26 – “And for an entire year they met with the church and taught considerable numbers; and the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.”


Disciple
a
 person who is a pupil of the doctrines of another; 
to teach; train
Christian
1. exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of JesusChristlike
2. a person who believes in Jesus

Today the term Christian can bring a lot of flack with it.

1. Flack from the world: For some reason it has become common practice for many to believe that ‘Christian’ means ‘perfection’. It is now common place to hear Christians being called hypocrites just because we fall into sin. While one of the definitions for ‘Christian’ is ‘Christlike’, this term should endue the spirit of Christ, not the perfection of Christ. To believe that Christ’s followers are perfect, is a stigmatism brought on by Satan to steer away the unbeliever. The truth is…

  • We are all sinners: “All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” – Romans 3:23.
  • We can all attain purity through Christ: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9 
  • We are not perfect, but are striving to be like Christ: “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” – Philippians 1:6. 

2. Flack from self: Sadly because of this stigmatism, that Christians must be perfect, many Christians have started believing it! HELLO! It is unattainable in this world! We as Christians can not keep trying to hide all of our short comings. We can not be perfect, and God does not call us to perfection. He simply says “Follow Me”. We can be made perfect, only through Him. We simply have to be a disciple. He makes us pure, and then he teaches us how to stay pure. It is a process; a daily walk with Christ; one that doesn’t end until He returns to take us to glory.

Renewal of the mind:

  • We need to stop striving for perfection and start striving for Christ.
  • Let’s ditch the worlds connotation of ‘Christian’ and replace it with the term ‘Disciple’. We are in training; striving to catch Christ, until the day he returns for us.
  • We need to be honest and share our walk with our Christian brothers and sisters, so that we can help each other along the way.
  • We need to show the world that we are not perfect, and that they don’t have to be perfect either. We all just need to follow Him and come as we are; people in need of help.

“Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him. –  Matthew 9:9