Reasons for Suicide

Matt. 27:3-5 – When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

Judas was torn up over his wrongdoing. He went to church leaders who he thought could lead him to God, but they didn’t do their job. Judas should’ve taken a second step, going to his brother (Jesus) to make amends. If he had, he would’ve realized that Jesus would forgive him for the betrayal:

Matt. 5:23-24 – if you… remember that your brother has something against you… go and be reconciled to your brother

Instead Judas believed what the wicked church leaders had said. He accepted the lie that it was solely his responsibility, and right there he judged himself. We are not responsible for the final evaluation of anyone’s character, including our own. ‘He who judges me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes (1Cor.4:4-5)’. When it comes to judging a person’s inner personality, the only One who knows all the truth is God. And without knowing all the truth, we are not able to judge accurately or fairly–not others or ourselves. Only the Lord knows our motives. ‘He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives (counsels) of the heart (1Cor.4:5).’

Judas clearly stated that his motive wasn’t to see Jesus condemned, because he called that ‘innocent blood.’ The counsels of his heart were from church leaders, Judas perhaps thought he could trust, who deceived him with lies, and trapped him into their wicked ploys. Judas could not see clearly, making it the worse time to make a life altering decision. Sometimes we just need some time to sort things out and get a fresh perspective.

The whole point of Jesus is that we can now go directly to Him instead of to church leaders, who may have become corrupt, but in every case are sin prone humanbeings. We now have the Holy Spirit who comforts and counsels us. A leader who is close to God will be a great help however.

If you feel suicidal tonight, or are burdened by the weight of your own wrongdoings, have been deceived, have perhaps hurt or betrayed a loved one, or are suffering from a broken relationship–choose not to judge yourself. Accept what is wrong as wrong, and leave the judgement to God. Embrace God and He will forgive all your sin; ‘None of the sins that you have committed will be remembered against you (Eze. 33:16).’ With this clean slate, follow God’s lead in choosing not to remember your sins anymore. When we embrace God, accepting His son Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins, we stand before Him on the day of judgement and the Bible says, ‘The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight (Ps.18:24).’ In HIS sight we are pure and His judgement is not to condemn, but to reward. Stop condemning your sins, and start asking Jesus to wipe them away, so you can focus on rewarding your righteousness.

Eze. 36:31 – You will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good; and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight, for your iniquities and your abominations

Step 1 to being free from self hatred is: choosing not to remember what God chooses not to remember–your sins.

Eze. 36:33-36 – On the day I cleanse you from all your sins… the ruins will be rebuilt. The desolate land will be cultivated instead of lying desolate in the sight of all who pass through it. They will say, “This land that was laid waste has become like the garden of Eden; the cities that were lying in ruins… are now fortified… those around you that remain will know that I the Lord have rebuilt what was destroyed

Give Jesus a chance before you give up. And if you’ve already accepted Jesus, keep trusting Him to bring you through by restoring and rebuilding you.

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Noah, the Flood, & Evil God

Noahs Arc   Peter drowning

The waters, of Noah’s flood, washed away the wicked. What kind of loving God would kill all mankind? He’s so harsh, right? Let’s look into this story and its meaning. Remember God is, was, and is to come; that means His Words, and actions, are without time – and the message stays consistent.

– John 1:1-2,4-5,14 – In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning…  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it… The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son

– Gen. 1:1-2 – In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

– Matt. 14:24-25,27-31 – When evening came, He was there alone. By this time the boat was far from land and was being thrown around by the waves. The wind was strong against them. Just before the light of day (or the beginning of day; the dark hours before daybreak), Jesus went to them walking on the water… But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

These 3 passages have similar components like: 1)God  2)on the water, 3)in the beginning, 4)at the dark of night.

So many people read the story of Noah and think that God wiped out mankind without giving them a chance, but these verses show us that, from the beginning of creation, God has been walking on the waters, looking for people to rescue. Since the beginning of creation, God has been hovering over the waters. When I hear the word hover, I think of a helicopter on a rescue mission, searching fiercely for those drowning.

Helicopter water rescueHover means to remain in the air in one place. This is God. He has His eyes on all the world. He is our dispatcher. Jesus is our first responder. Jesus says in John 12:49 that He doesn’t do anything on His own, but only does what God has commanded Him to do. Jesus is God. Jesus mission is to rescue.  He’s on the ground, er on the water, coming to the aid of all who cry out for help.

So why did God destroy the wicked? Let’s see what the definition of wicked is, so we know who drowned in Noah’s flood.

The dictionary says wicked means:
1. distressingly severe, as a storm
2. unjustifiable; dreadful; beastly
3. extremely troublesome or dangerous
4. evil or morally bad in principle or practice

Hmm… by definition it doesn’t sound like God sent a storm to destroy the wicked; it actually sounds like the wicked people were the storm.

– 2 Sam. 22:5-7,17-18,20,49 – Because deadly breakers engulfed me, while torrents of abuse from the ungodly overwhelmed me. Binding ropes from Sheol entangled me while lethal snares hindered me. I cried out to the Lord in the middle of my troubles; I cried out to my God. He listened to my voice from his sanctuary, and my call for help was heardHe sent for me from on high! He grabbed hold of me, drawing me out of deep water. He rescued me from my strong enemy— from those who hate me continually, since they were stronger than I… He brought me to a wide open area, rescuing me because he was pleased with me!… delivering me from my enemies. You exalted me above those who rebelled against me, delivering me from violent men.

– Prov. 10:25 – When the storm ends, the wicked vanish, but the righteous person is forever firm. (*We are in the storm right now)

We can surmise that wicked people destroy themselves. They are their own storm and since God gave us freewill from the beginning, he lets our freewill play out to the fullest extent. People have blamed God because it’s easier to blame God than blame self; we don’t want to take responsibility for our own actions and admit that we did wrong. People have also chosen to blame others instead of blaming self; Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the snake, and I’m sure the snake blamed God for being loving and giving him the freewill to choose to do wrong! Granted, many of us are victims of someone elses wrong doing. I was. I was a long-suffering victim of many things. Family, friends, people without God, and people with God, all hurt me (I put part of this testimony at the bottom of this post). I had to hold on to God, take responsibility for my own life, and wait for the other side of God’s ‘Noah’s ark’ promise:

God can save the righteous from those who are wicked. God’s ways tell us to die to self, and not repay evil for evil, though that goes against every fiber of our being. God doesn’t want us to have to protect ourselves; we are His kids. He is our protector and He is more than capable of taking care of us.

Imagine you are the father to a child and someone just came up and slapped them to the ground. We gonna fight; you don’t touch my child like that. God, our Father, is the king of everything, and he is a warrior king at that. Don’t cross him. He can vaporize you in an instance, or worse yet, make you face an eternity of punishment…

But guess what. We are ALL God’s children. He says:

– Eze. 18:23 – “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked?” declares the Sovereign Lord. “No, instead I would like him to turn from his sinful ways and live.”

– 2 Peter 3:9 – The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

God is waiting for every child to ask Him how to love. He is love! He is pulling out all the stops to show us love, but God can’t help us until we are willing to listen to His advice. That’s the definition of love: respect. God respects you enough to let you make your own choices. In Eden He gave us a choice, and everyday on earth is another choice. He will never FORCE us to do anything, and that should show you that He loves you, not make you think that He doesn’t care about your choices. He has given us His Word as our way to hear His advice on any, and every, topic. He is our loving, good, heavenly Father that is with us at every moment. He is not a wicked person who thinks he is supposed to control someone. Our Father teaches us right and wrong, then gives us the choice to make. This can cause us pain if we choose our own way:

Child touching stove eyeWhen dad says, ‘Don’t touch the stove or it will hurt you’, then we test it out and get hurt – that experience should drive us closer to our father, and show us that we can trust his advice.

Haven’t you seen a parent that was loving and wise, but the child was too rebellious to take their advice? The child put himself through hell before he finally realized he needed to take his parents advice. They had to face the consequences of their own choices before they could accept the wise advice of their parents. Their pride got the best of them: ‘I know better than my parents.’ Soon they realize, ‘My parents had more experience than me. I went through the same pain and trials they went through, because I was too prideful to listen to their advice. They were trying to save me this pain. They had a good plan and future in mind for me and I missed it.’

Every person sins. God does not destroy us because of sin. Those of His children who are willing to listen to Him and take His advice are covered (by Jesus blood). All His children will sin, but they will immediately turn to Dad and say, ‘I did wrong; teach me how to do right.’ These children are not wicked, or rebellious. They are God’s heart.

The people that God calls wicked, are those who are so prideful, that they truly think they can do no wrong, or have never done anything wrong. Those people will be destroyed unless they open their eyes to their wrongs, ask forgiveness, and turn from their wicked ways. They are hurting themselves, and everyone else, and they cannot admit that they have done anything wrong.

David had a son who tried to steal his throne. David loved him and did not want to punish him. Eventually, Absalom led an army against his father David, to destroy him. David’s commanders went out to battle and David said, ‘Be gentle with Absalom.’ In the battle the commander thought he knew better than the king, and he killed Absalom. When David heard this he cried, “My son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! I wish I had died instead of you. Absalom! My son, my son!”. – 2 Sam. 18

David is often used as a depiction of Jesus. Jesus told us to go ‘fight the good fight’ by sharing His love with every person. How dare one of us decide that we know better than Jesus, and try to cut down one of His children.

The disciples painted a better picture for us, on how to treat those living in sin:

Water is often thought of as representing sin. Think about baptism: we are dunked under the water, and it represents dying to sin and self. Then we come out of the water, and it represents new life, lived through the Spirit of God.

Jesus gave Peter the ability to walk on water, just like he gives us the ability to live free from sin. We are walking toward Him without getting bogged down in the mire. Peter (like all those who are walking toward Jesus will) fell into a bit of sin, started to sink in the water and cried, ‘Help!’ It says Jesus immediately stretched out his hand to catch him.

As Christians we are all called to live the same kind of life that Christ did. Jesus wasn’t trying to show off to Peter; He was trying to disciple him. We need to get out of the physical boat that we call religion, or the church, and realize that the physical boat can’t save us from the storm. Jesus is our spiritual boat; He is our salvation from the storm of sin. He wants us to 1)get out of the church building, 2)follow Him into all the world, 3)walk on the waters, and LOOK for those who are drowning, thrashing, panicking, and crying out for help.

– Gen. 1:1-2 – In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Go out, into the dark places of sin, and be a part of God’s rescue mission. Noah preached to a wicked world for 100 years, and no one believed him. We have the same call, and I guarantee it won’t take 1 year for you to find someone who wants God. God is our true boat; there is safety in His righteous ways. Bring people into Him.

Fire fighter saving naked childBe gentle with the sinner (Absalom). It is hard to see underwater; it’s hard to know which way is up, and which is down. It’s hard to stay on top of the water when the crashing wakes of sin are beating you down.

Be the hovering helicopter with the search lights;  be the hand that helps them up and brings peace to the storm. Get out of your place of comfort, where you think you are safe, and be the rescuer that puts his life on the line to save someone else.

Matt. 10:39 – If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

Are you so scared of sin that you can’t be obedient to God’s command to go out and help those who need help? If your first response to seeing the firefighter photo was, ‘I thought this was a christian blog; why is she showing a naked person?’, then you might want to check your heart. God’s call, not to look with lust, is serious, but if it keeps you from seeing a person in need and doing everything in your power to go to them where they are, and save them, then you don’t have love. Anything done outside of love is worthless to God (1 Cor. 13:3). And if you’re scared that the second you look on a naked body you will lust, then your heart isn’t that pure is it? Don’t lose your life:

– Is. 43:2 – When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you

We aren’t going to the waters of sin to drown in it. We are passing through the waters to save people. It is hard and you might sink a little, like Peter, but God will never leave you or forsake you; and He is more than capable of getting you back up. Don’t fear for your life. Put your trust in God to save you from sin.

Worship: Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United

Thank you God for putting your life on the line to save us. Thank you Christians who put your life on the line to save us. Thank you cops, firefighters, and first responders for putting your life on the line to save us. Thank you for seeing the worth of a person above your own fear of sin, waves, fire, or trials.

Jesus on Cross

Personal Testimony:
I made the decision to give God my life in the 5th grade. I didn’t have anyone to train me in His ways, so I lived the same way a non-Christian would, except that I was reading the Bible for myself. In 6th grade I read about the gifts of the Spirit; I came across the scripture and had no idea what it meant. Most of the gifts confused me, but I understood what a miracle was, and that sounded nice, so I asked Him what the others meant. Several years later, in 9th grade, I had planned out my suicide. I was tired of my lot in life. I could’ve blamed God, but God gave me a home; my parents lovingly adopted me. God is love, and everything that comes from love, comes from Him. Everything that’s bad comes from sin (outside of the plan of God). My parents weren’t perfect, nor was my birth mother; they had their own struggles. It wasn’t my fault, but I had to suffer through it. One was driven to drinking and abuse. A hard life drove the other crazy; schizophrenic to be exact. My life was hell for many, many years, but theirs had been too. I love them very much, and forgive them, but I had a lot of pain at that time, so I was sitting in the place where I would kill myself; preparations at hand. No one was there, but as I shut my eyes to cry, I saw Jesus. He walked up to me and placed His hand on my head saying, ‘Peace be still.’ This overwhelming peace flooded me. Every other thought was silenced. I told him, ‘God, I have nothing to live for but you. As long as you are in my life, I’ll keep trying.’ I walked away that day, but a month after that the thoughts came back. I had a string of suicidal thoughts, about the length of my testimony to this point. I was just about to leave for church, so I went and tried to stuff them down. I went up for prayer after the teaching, and before I had spoken a word, the 15-year-old girl (who had been preaching) opened her mouth and repeated verbatim – word for word, sentence by sentence – the full length of the thoughts I had thought. She then rebuked the evil spirit behind the thoughts, and prophesied God’s good purposes over me. 1)I had been alone when I thought them, 2)I had not said them outloud (they were thoughts), 3)I hadn’t told anyone about them – and yet this girl knew exactly what they were. Freaked. Me. Out. Just like God proved I wasn’t alone the 1st time, God showed me again in this 2nd instance – I AM with you. God came Himself the 1st; and the 2nd, he came through a person. This is the gift of prophecy; the ability to HEAR God’s voice, through the gift of the Holy Spirit (who is God).

Miracle of the Red SeaHow did I know it was God and not the devil? Well, I sure as hell knew it was something! But the Bible also says, 1)the gifts of the Holy Spirit are for every man, and 2)the devil doesn’t work against himself. Satan was trying to get me to commit suicide both times. He would not have interjected a vision of Jesus or a prophetic Word from Jesus that 1)lined up with scripture, 2)immediately kept me from killing myself, and 3)strengthen my relationship with God. As far as I was concerned, there was no question in my mind whatsoever that there was a God; this was solid proof.

God tells us that he never leaves us or forsakes us; He is always with us. Reach out to Him; He is speaking. How can we as Christians pray, and be mad at God because we don’t hear a response, while many of us have disowned Christ (the Word of God), which says the gift of prophecy is a gift for every man to help us hear His voice?

– Matt. 23:29-32 – “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. 30And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ 31So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. 32Go ahead, then, and complete what your ancestors started!

Meant for “bigger things,” Scuffy the Tugboat sets off to explore the world. But on his daring adventure Scuffy realizes that home is where he’d rather be. 'Home is where the heart is.' My heart is in God, and God's Spirit is in me; home sweet home

Meant for “bigger things,” Scuffy the Tugboat sets off to explore the world. But on his daring adventure Scuffy realizes that home is where he’d rather be.
‘Home is where the heart is.’ My heart is in God, and God’s Spirit is in me; home sweet home

Prayer: God, I understand that we are all sinners, and I have many things to relearn about you and cause to come into alignment with your Word; but helps these who are hurting and asking to hear your voice. Deliver your righteous ones from the sins of their leaders. Remind us of your word to test every spirit, and taste every word that is spoken, to see if it lines up with who YOU say you are. Strengthen us to search you out, so we can see for ourselves how real you are. Raise up those working by the Spirit of God, though the workers be few, for a sign to all the world. We will be mocked, beaten, and called heretics, but so was Jesus. You, God, were rejected by the world and the church leaders (Pharisees). Don’t let me stay in the physical sinking boat of religion, trying to save my own life. Give me the power of your Spirit to walk on the waters and rescue those drowning. Don’t let it be said of me that I didn’t preach for the 100 years of my life, trying to pull people out of the flood waters. You are my boat, and you live in me, which makes me a boat. You do the steering; just help me be willing.

I’m working on a multi part blog about the Holy Spirit. I hope to make it fully comprehensive about who He is and what He does. You know the fruit of the Spirit is love, and love is God; we need the Holy Spirit. Nonetheless, I’m not through writing it yet, so here are some resources to help you find out more in the mean time:

Highlands Sermon Series – The Holy Spirit
Riches in Humility, by lovedisciple

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